Pick Your Joy

I have found that how my day goes is usually dependent upon my mindset. If I start my day frustrated, mad, or worried, I tend to have a more stressful day. If I wake up a little earlier, spend my quiet time reading, praying, and setting my mind up for a good day, it usually goes a lot smoother. I have tried to make this part of my everyday practice. It doesn’t always happen because life can get in the way (kids, dogs, a faulty alarm clock, or too many snoozes), but I strive to make it a priority. Another thing I have tried to start doing is a practice I call, “Pick Your Joy.” It is a simple habit that I feel has yielded some great results. Here is the story of discovering this strategy and how I began to implement it.

One day I was on a walk and I started thinking about all the things I had to do for the day. I was not only thinking about all my to-dos, but my family, my friends, my goals, my worries….the list goes on. My head started spinning with all of the things and I got very overwhelmed almost like I was going to fall apart or have a panic attack.

This is pretty typical for me as I am a “big picture” person. I do my best to stay in the present, the here and now, but honestly my brain is usually 10 steps ahead (sometimes further). My mom is similar in this way and my dad always made the joke growing up “that brain never takes a day off” when referring to my mom. It always made me laugh, and here I am thinking to myself “man, my brain never takes a day off either!” I am a planner by nature as I have mentioned in previous posts, and this is such a helpful tool most of the time, but can also be a distraction from the good right in front of me. I tend to find myself in this overwhelmed state thinking about “everything” fairly often, and I realized that I needed a better strategy to help me focus on the joy.

While I was on this walk and my head was spinning, I started to think about what I could do to help myself stay positive and focus on the little joys instead of getting overwhelmed by life. I thought maybe if I pick one thing that brings and try to focus on that the whole day, it might be a little more manageable and I could be joyful about that one thing. So I started the “Pick Your Joy” strategy in my own life.

How it works is that when I wake up, I ask myself, “what brings me joy today?” The first thing that comes to my mind is the joy I pick for the day. I try to spend time during my quiet time in the morning (or later in the day if quiet time didn’t happen when I wanted it to), reflecting on that joy and why it is important to me. I think about the feelings it evokes, the people that share it with me or help me find that joy, and how I can share it with others that day. In a sense, it is a gratefulness practice, but it also brings so much positivity and light to my day to spread as I go. I spend the whole day trying to focus on that joy and if I feel my mind start to wander towards things that stress me, overwhelm me, or bring me to an anxious state, I tune back into my joy.

Here are a few examples of some of the joys I picked to focus on recently:

-My kids

-My husband

-My parents

-My sister

-Publishing a book

-My dogs

-My health

-My house

-My friends

It may be a person, it may be a thing, or it may be an experience. It could be something that is happening that day, or week, or something that you dream about happening. It could be the same thing every day for a whole week. The point is to pick one and focus on it. Dive deep into why it brings you joy, and why it enriches your life. It reminds me a little of the Kon Mari “Spark Joy” idea of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” (Side note I read that book while my husband and I were on a vacation to Hawaii about 6 years ago, and it was magic. I immediately came home and decluttered my house.) It can be life-changing when we declutter our minds and become intentional in our thoughts. It can change our hearts when we get to know why something means so much to us.

I encourage you to “pick your joy” whatever that may be today, and focus on it. Spend time in that space of joy and embrace all the good things that come with it. Let it hold you and remind you that there is so much to be grateful for and life is full of little joys. Each day find one, and soon you might start to feel the burden of all the “things” swirling in your head lessen, and your perspective may begin to shift.