“I’ll Be the Banks” Pt. 2
I’ll be the Banks: Part Two
Kindergarten Follow Up
In August 2022, I wrote a blog post called “I’ll be the Banks” sharing the journey of our family's decision to have my oldest son repeat Pre-K. In our school, repeating a grade is called the “gift of time” because truly it is a gift. As I navigated the decision with my husband, my son’s teachers, and the experience of friends who had been faced with this choice before me, I saw all the benefits and opportunities having my son repeat Pre-K would bring.
Here we are, a little over a year later, at the end of my son’s first trimester of Kindergarten. I was so excited to get to this point to share the growth, benefits, and confidence we have in this decision. Now more than ever, I am seeing the seeds we planted begin to sprout. I know he will continue to bloom as he moves forward in his academic career, and we are so thankful we made this decision for his future.
Here are some of the main benefits and opportunities that “the gift of time” has given my son and our family:
He has more social and academic maturity.
One of the main reasons we explored the option of repeating Pre-K was because we wanted to allow our son to be more socially and academically mature when he started Kindergarten. He is a bright kid and academically would have been fine if we had chosen to move him forward a year earlier, but we didn’t want him to just be FINE. We wanted him to be confident. We wanted him to be secure in these concepts that are at the foundation (more on this in #2). Along with the academic piece of maturity, he had some social and emotional maturity growth to do. He would have gotten there eventually, but with all the pressures of the world, school, and life, we wanted him to be able to cope and handle some of the things being thrown at him with more ease. The only way to make it easier for him and acquire more maturity is more time, growth, and development. Today we see our son still being a typical 6-year-old, but he can work through his emotions and problem-solving with the extra time he needs to gain those skills. He seems like he does not have to work as hard to navigate them because he has been able to mentally mature and have more practice working through how to handle the different things coming his way. Now, all this being said…he is 6 and still has a lot to learn and experience to continue growing in maturity, but overall I feel this extra time has equipped him with some very important skills that are setting him up for success during a very important part of his Kindergartners social/emotional experience.
2. He is confident in his foundational academic skills.
As I said in #1, he would have been fine if we moved him to Kindergarten a year earlier, but we didn’t want him to just be fine. We would have helped him along the way and made sure he was getting what he needed, but we didn’t want him to have the pressure of potential frustration simply because he could have benefitted from more time. We wanted Kindergarten to be a positive, skill-building experience because they are taking in so much information. We wanted to shed a layer of hardship by allowing him to be academically mature and secure in the foundational concepts from all he is learning this year. I always think of the foundational concepts of a child’s academics (letter and number identification, sound identification, counting, lowercase, and uppercase matching, etc.) to be like the foundation of a house. If we build a house on a rocky foundation, the house will not be as strong. If we push a child on in their academic career too quickly, their academic foundation will not be as strong. It may seem like I am making this a bigger deal than it should be because society often says “It’s just Pre-K,” but my argument is "Yes…. It’s Pre-K!!” the beginning of it all, the foundation that their house is built on. I feel by making this choice we helped my son build that strong foundation, and things are coming a little more naturally to him in Kindergarten because he is secure.
3. He is excited for HOMEWORK!
Yes, you read that right….he is excited for HOMEWORK! I remember after the first couple of weeks of school, my son’s teacher mentioned to us that homework would begin to be sent home the following month. I had a conversation with my son about it and he said “I can’t wait to do homework!!” That was not how I expected him to feel about homework and very rarely do I hear kids say they are “excited” about this. When that day came and he brought home his first homework folder, it was the first thing he wanted to do when he got home. He sat down completed it independently, and was so excited to show me how he had already finished his assignments for the week. I watched him as he worked and even snapped a picture because the thought going through my head was “This is why.” Watching him complete an assignment with confidence and find joy in the learning was such a gift for me. It gave my heart peace knowing that the road was going to be a little smoother because I made a choice that was beneficial for him. I am happy to report that homework is still a hit at our house. The “excitement” has worn off a little, but he still comes home and gets his work done with confidence. I’m sure as he gets older and the workload gets heavier, he may not seem so thrilled, but at least we have given him the gift of feeling secure and taken away some of the pressures he might have felt.
4. He is reading, writing, and exploring letters, words, and numbers constantly.
No exaggeration…my son is constantly reading, writing, and drawing. He loves to help me write notes for other people, make cards, read messages people send, read what’s on the TV, billboards, etc. It makes me a little more weary of what he is exposed to and causes me to be in check with what I have on the TV or my phone (which we all need to be aware of anyway, right?!), but he is constantly trying and I love it. He may not get it right every time, but he is “stretchy snaking” all sorts of words and sharing them with the people around him. I love that I can feel his joy and excitement of a whole new world opening up to him now that he is emerging in his reading and writing. His confidence is blooming every time he gets something right. Another cool thing about this experience is that he tries all the time, but is okay with failure if he doesn’t get it right. He might wish he could figure it out, but he understands that just because he didn’t get a word right in his reading or writing doesn’t mean he isn’t doing well. He seems to understand that it is part of the process of learning and he is getting better with every try. I love that he keeps going and exploring, and all the opportunities for conversations and practice we have together.
5. He loves school and his soul seems happy.
It’s a simple truth, but one of the biggest reasons why my heart is content with our decision. He loves school because the learning is fun and the pressure is off because he is academically secure. He can enjoy it because his little brain is not working as much overtime to keep up. He is soaking it all in and it is making sense because developmentally he is ready for it. He loves to learn and succeed and it helps him to have a positive, self-esteem-building experience at school. Watching him love school and feeling a sense that his soul is well, is the icing on the cake. It is a constant reminder that I made the right choice for him. He is blooming and growing right before my eyes, and I couldn’t be more proud as a mom.
Each child is different and when and where they repeat a grade is a personal choice. The younger we can make this intervention and choice, the easier I feel it is for them to build that strong foundation. They can be surrounded by these academic concepts that they have to have to be successful for longer, and have the opportunity to grow at their speed. The older a child gets, the harder it may be for them to separate from the social part of the change. They may have a little more awareness of what is happening and it may feel a little harder for them to understand. One of the most magnificent parts of a child is their ability to adapt and be resilient when they are young. The earlier the intervention the easier the transition may be and less they will have to worry about the social changes.
I hope that our journey can help you, inspire you, and encourage you that by even considering this option for your child, you are an amazing caregiver. You are thinking about their future, caring for their well-being, and making a brave, life-giving decision for them. Each day they grow a little more and you will see the benefits bloom. Time is a gift, and what a great gift to give the children we love so dearly.
Many Blessings,
Lauren
